Rhetoric of My Roommate

It has been quite an adventure with my roommate so far this semester. We have known each other for many years as we attended the same middle and high schools and played on the same club soccer teams. We have always been good friends and I am proud to say that we continue to remain good friends. One down side of our relationship is that he picks at me at every opportunity he gets. He is a vulture who thrives off of the mistakes of others, loving arguments for the sake of arguing, and of course in his mind, always winning these verbal matches. No matter what the argument is about, in his mind he will come out the victor. It is truly amazing to watch his verbal jousting into which he pours such passion, regardless of the absurdity of his position. It is even more amazing that in reality, for the most part I do have to agree with his established position. As I am usually in agreement, I have to question how he believes that he “wins” all of these arguments. In truth I will never know the way his mind works to justify his winning scenario. He is very good at making each argument very personal in nature. He knows a lot about other people and will use that personal knowledge against them during an argument. Whenever I call him out on something, he employs the tactic that the best defense is a strong offense, and argues that the mistakes I have made are worse than the errors that he committed and that I shouldn’t be allowed to talk to him unless I correct my alleged errors. I have recently been endeavoring to exercise a resistance to this ploy, and a few weeks ago I decided to argue in so fierce a manner as to brook no defeat. I discovered that when we vehemently argue in this manner, his arguments generally degenerate into derogatory name-calling. Although it is sad to see his arguments deteriorate in this fashion, somehow, in the end, he still almost always gets his way. The only possible explanation I can give for his winning is that he decides to firmly hold his ground without budging, no matter what the cost. I, on the other hand, do not have the need to win every argument regardless of the bloody cost. For example, one day when I was emptying my pencil sharpener, he decided that the sound bothered him. He told me to stop it otherwise he would throw the TV remote at me. Needless to say, I accepted the challenge and continued emptying my sharpener, and he did as he threatened by throwing the remote. It is of no surprise that the remote broke and now we can only turn the TV channels manually, but he was still satisfied because in his mind he had won the argument. This has ultimately led me to the conclusion that the only possible way for him not to win, is for me not to play. So after constantly analyzing his every move and attempting a psychological defense, to no avail, I will now attempt to not argue with him at all. Perhaps this is the only way he cannot rationalize that he has “won”.